((I have been MIA for a LONG while, I'm sorry, I was busy and then very sick...and then we suffered a terrorist attack. here's the only thing I would say which suits me better than a picture or a motto))
There's a thin line between using brutal ways to fight for your life, freedom, your rights /and/ actually killing lives for the sake of killing or power. A thin line between what actually is terrorism and what some people want us to believe it is but it's another debate. What happened in my country a couple of days ago (and kept going on until today evening) is horrible. disgusting. It's damaging for everyone. When hatred and a certain attraction towards destruction, a thirst for power leads people to murder innocent folks and random people. When a young woman who was at the end of her traineeship to become a cop is cowardly killed (on her back) while on duty, when those people use and spread a twisted vision of a religion to justify their actions and when ignorance or willful blindness is thrown into the mix to keep on hating on "the other", "the foreigner" I can only sit back and blink.
When will it end? what will become of people? of this world? of MY world?
I cry with the victims for their loss, I am enraged at the sight of the growing intolerance, I am worried about the future. I will always be. Violence has always been part of my life, in my birthcountry when State is failing and people have to bring justice to them by force, most of the time violentely because they refuse to be victims anymore. I have seen a lot of corpses in my young life, somehow being unphazed by the sight of it, but still sensitive to the message behind, the reasons that led to such a gruesome end, the fear for my security although I admit, I lived relatively well compared to others and thank god, never was a victim of such brutality. but the fear never left. I brought it in France when I moved in, it's always at the corner of my eye whenever I go. And when I finally experienced that violence, in France and ended up being unable to leave my place for six months I needed to regain control on my life. I needed to understand.
I do need to understand why people could kill others, why they do feel the need to hide behind something (politics, religion, an ideology or whatever) to justify for their thirst for blood. It always comes to this in the end. You want to be in control, you need to scare people. You relish in it and the circle never ends.
I refuse to bow down and I refuse to be afraid, come what may but I do not want to give into some psychopaths urges, give them the self-gratification from seeing me shake in fear. (and I include ANYONE with the will to induce FEAR into Me whether it's because I'm french, a woman, a woman of colour, a fat person, a supporter of democracy and so and so...) I refuse to stop being myself and I refuse to give anyone the right to silence me. We will survive the violence, I believe in it, but we need to wise up and not give them what they truly want: Anarchy, even more racism than there already is, even more dis-harmony. we are a nation, a colourful nation, one with a huge past with its dark and bright times. We are ONE and we MUST remain ONE.
There goes my prayer, this is what I truly want to say
And of course, all of my thoughts are towards the victims once more, for it is really the blood that is shed that should matter the most. R.I.P